Disbandment Depression: How to Cope Post-Breakup Written by Cjontai On January 11, 2015 Disbandment. Its a word that drives shudders down a fans spine. No one wishes to see it next to the name of their favorite group, but alas, this is an inescapable fate for all idol groups. As much as wed love to believe their cheers of Well be with you for a thousand years!, we must accept that all good things come to an end.
The disbandment of Wonder Boyz and Jewelry brought us a double blow. While the inactivity of Jewelry probably lessened the hurt for their end, the unexpected news regarding Wonder Boyz left many fans stunned and heartbroken. MBLAQ fans still dont know what to do about Lee Joon and Thunders departure from the group. J. Tune Camp tried to reassure fans this wouldnt change things, but dude, come onobviously, two members leaving the group changes things.
Apologies for the outburst. It got a bit personal there.
Its a strange feeling to know that a group youve been following for years will no longer make music show appearances as a full unit. They were perfect together. They seemed so happy. Where did it all go wrong? Thats just the thing though. Sometimes its not a matter of what went wrong, but the fact that nothing lasts forever. Not even Twinkies. Yes, those things have an expiration date too.
The initial response from fans when this kind of news emerges is to immediately brush it off as fan folklore. Wonder Boyz broke up? Yeah right, theyre just on hiatus. Stop spreading breakup rumors.
Despite your skepticism, you cant help but wonder how much of this is true. Ill just wait it out. Its probably a lie.Thats what we always tell ourselves.
Soon afterwards, confirmation comes from the company or a group member. Your group is no more. Dreams of glorious comebacks have been thrown into a blender with your heart and tears. It simply isnt fair. You love them. They cant end like this.
Cue the melodramatic blubbering from fans who swear this is the worst thing to ever happen in K-pop. You know its not, but lets not touch on serious issues here. Yes, disbandment is sad, but its not the worst thing ever. There are many good things to take away from this.
You can go through all of their MVs and TV appearances to relive the glory days. Watch their very first music show performance. Remember the time your bias said something hilarious in an interview? How about when they dropped their idol image for the purpose of laughter on a variety show? Look at their encouraging messages to the fans. They had so much love for us and will likely never forget the love we gave back.
Speaking of fan love, this is a great time to express it. Bust out every album of theirs and play every song. Play it loudly and proudly. Dance to their routines again. Enjoy singing off-key as you rest in the knowledge that you are most definitely killing the lyrics because you cant speak a lick of Korean correctly. But, who cares? Probably your cat or your goldfish. Your pets may judge you, but thats okay because you need that catharsis.
You know who wont judge you, though? The fandom. If there was ever an appropriate time for a fandom hug, disbandment would be it. You need each other more than ever. Nobody cares who shares biases. No one cares about how long youve been a fan. You loved the same group. You understand their feelings, and they understand yours. You are all suffering together. Hug it out.
Its okay to cry into your pillow. You can even scream if that eases the pain. Clutch that pillow with your groups faces on it and sleep on it for as long as you need. The grieving period varies from fan to fan, so dont feel badly if this depression lasts for months. When youre in pain, there is no time limit for healing. Do it at your own pace.
Eventually, you will stop crying. This is when you know youve accepted everything. The group is over, but there is more music to enjoy from other groups. Wasnt there another group that peaked your interest? Now would be a great time to get more into them. Some of their music appealed to you, so open your heart to them.
Bitter fans will call you a traitor as you do this because they probably arent ready to let go yet. Tell those fans, you understand their pain, but youve learned to deal with yours already. Theyll either get over it, or become stuck in a perpetual loop of denial waiting for a group reunion. While reunions are possible, dont hold out stubbornly for one. Some things simply werent meant to be.
Besides, who says theyre all quitting music? Perhaps your bias will finally go solo or take up acting. Yes, more bias screen time!
They can live on their own now. Goodbye to sharing a bathroom with several other people! Goodbye, dating bans! Hello, family and friend visitations during holidays! They can live their lives again! REJOICE!
Your K-pop activities should not end just because your main bias group disbanded. This is a time for reflection and celebration. Reminisce about all the concerts, fan meetings, or other chance encounters you were fortunate to get while they were a group. Their music impacted your life and that will never change. Take this for what it is and express to the group how much you appreciate them making music that brought you joy. Wish them happiness and health because they surely want the same for you.
Wonder Boyz and Jewelry wont be the last ones to disband in K-pop. Any of them can call it quits at any time, which is why fans should enjoy it while they can. Stop focusing on trivial fan wars or starting up smear campaigns against some vloggers who dont like your group. It doesnt matter. What matters is the music. Never forget that. Never forget them.
Be strong, fandom. Youll get through this.
(YouTube, Naver, Images via J. Tune Camp, Star Empire, ENT102 Entertainment)